Before I post a number of funny quotes I came across on the web today, I gotta wave to Amber and thank her for her Elisha Cuthbert comment. *waves* Hi Amber!
(Note to D. and H. : Yes that's one of the Aussie girls, lol)
Now... I've got a rather "sec" kind of humor and often like jokes that play on and with words, or are surprisingly simple yet refined when you look at them. Here are some quotes that I found today, most are aviation related and taken from the aircraft trouble report that each plane carries. P=Pilot, S=Solution (entry by engineers/maintenance)
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.