Apparently it's christmas. It's a period of time where everyone is expected to be joyful, happy, cheerful and in love with the world and everyone around them. This is reflected quite obviously in the tons of powerpoint presentations that arrive in my inbox, all spreading the message of love, joy and happiness.
While I appreciate - sort of - all the whishes, I delete every single one of those mails. The only x-mas related presentations I sometimes keep around, are those where nice ladies and santa claus outfits are involved. Come on, you know those! It usually has beautiful - photoshop edited - women in them, wearing little or nothing apart from a furry coat, a santa hat or some x-mas decoration. Would you believe me that there is nothing hotter than women dressing in these "unreal" outfits?
Santa Claus, cartoon characters, shiny fake wigs, cavewoman outfits... hot. But I'm losing track of my initial subject, ain't I? (I just called one of my granny's to chat for a few minutes with her. I actually ment to do so earlier this week, but I lost track of it while doing other things)
Christmas is a christian festivity originally - or at least as far as I'm aware, I might be quite wrong. Those that know me a bit better or in person, are aware that I'm opposed to most religions when it comes to my own beliefs. I don't mind what you believe in, as long as it doesn't oppose my right not to believe. That being said, I grew up with x-mas as a tradition, even though neither of my parents are christians as far as I know. I've actually never asked them, so I guess that says enough. The one thing I do recall very clearly though, is the message that I was taught : "Think for yourself". And it's in that exact mood that I decided a long time ago, that religion is not something I care for.
Yes, I celebrate christmas, but not for it's religious background, but for the fact that some quality time is being spent with close friends, family, and (almost) everyone I hold close. Those values are more important to me than anything else.
Does it show that tonight - x-mas evening - I'll be at home, with my lovely three fuzzies that haven't got a clue what day it is, what it means, or why they are getting extra treats? They just take the treats and are happy for what they receive. I'll give them an extra cuddle, play with them and hope they've got a great time. Without cutting them short in any way, I would love to spend x-mas next year with someone special to me though. I will not settle for less, but if you keep making a big thing out of something that could be resolved if you put your foot down for once and for all, it'll never work. And be aware that while I might not be a chippendale, a genius or a casanova, I do care a lot about you and would do everything in my power to be and make you happy again.
What I won't do though, is keep a spot in my heart reserved indefinately for a ship that may never come in. If there is a chance that you and I ever will be together, I won't mind. But if there's not, let me know so I can move on with my life.
Hm... my mind is making these crazy jumps again. From x-mas to religion to family, ferrets and a specially reserved space in my heart. I rock.
I just need someone to roll with.