I will never change

Instead of packing like a madman coz I'm leaving in less than 24 hours, I've just wasted about an hour installing some switches and connections of the lighting on my bed. It might sound crazy, I know, but I've got two nice halogene spotlights on the top of my bed, to facilitate reading. They could of course also be used to shed a light on other activities in the bed... like sleeping.

Anyway, after having those lights for over 6 years now, the cables were still just lying around, and the on/off switch was crammed between the board of the bed and the matrass. Today while I was moving around in the bedroom, I got fed up with it and grabbed a handful of screws, a screwdriver and some spanners to tidy everything up. I'm happy with the results, almost professional like!

It's pretty weird how I always start doing things like that when I really should be doing something else. Sure, it's a way to finally get some things done around the house, but I've had plenty of time over the past few days. I've always had this behaviour, and I think I'll never get rid of it. I need a certain pressure to actually complete a task, and usually only start when time is definately running out.

By the time everyone tells me it's impossible to finish in time, I throw myself into it and give 100%. Sometimes I'm able to complete it, sometimes I'm not. The funny thing is that it doesn't bother me at all if I can't finish it, although I realize that if I started just a bit earlier (hours, days) I would have had no problem at all.

I've been studying by this method for years, and I admit that it certainly is not the best way to do things... It has worked out for me in most cases, but I also failed pretty important tests and exams because of my lack of planning. One thing that has helped me though is that there is only one reason why I fail at some things : myself.

I will hardly ever blame anyone or anything but myself for failing. It's me who should have started earlier. It's me who should have thought about certain things in advance. It makes you responsible for your own actions and descisions... Which is a good thing, I guess.

(See? Another 10 minutes wasted typing up the entry and proofreading it. I'm the best...)

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This page contains a single entry by ServMe published on December 25, 2002 12:02 PM.

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