Sunday Fun

If Men Ruled the World

  • Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number.
  • Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to "I love you."
  • Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.
  • If your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.
  • Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the ass and a "Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time" would pretty much do it.
  • Birth control would come in ale or lager.
  • You'd be expected to fill your resume with gag names of people you'd worked for, like "Heywood J'Blowme."
  • Each year, your raise would be pegged to the fortunes of the NFL team of your choice.
  • The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.
  • "Sorry I'm late, but I got really wasted last night" would be an acceptable excuse for tardiness.
  • At the end of the workday, a whistle would blow and you'd jump out your window and slide down the tail of a brontosaurus and right into your car like Fred Flintstone.
  • It'd be considered harmless fun to gather 30 friends, put on horned helmets, and go pillage a nearby town.
  • Lifeguards could remove citizens from beaches for violating the "public ugliness" ordinance.
  • Tanks would be far easier to rent.
  • Garbage would take itself out.
  • Instead of beer belly, you'd get "beer biceps."

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This page contains a single entry by ServMe published on April 28, 2002 1:43 PM.

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